CRY BABY....SHAME! SHAME!

I am probably one of those people who scavenge for jack-in-the-box gloves to spring out at them and demolish with a majestic thud all bridges and fences lining their faces.
probably so....
probably i get an adrenaline rush with every deep gash running down my arm, with every merciless puncture of death-cold pins on my neck...with sudden bites on the wrist, kicks on the stomach....or even a painful tug at a single thread of hair?
i don't know...
like i said-
probably so.

i can feel it...
the world is losing its patience with me.
i hear your restless clicking of tongue, the irritated shuffling of feet as your embarrassed pair of eyes divide chores between them-
"left! go check out the alleyway; no one should be seeing her..er..this way!"
"right! keep an eye on her, she is throwing up too hard...and er, too loudly.."

it should be hence-
normal,
natural.
Normal enough to ride on a twister with my eyes glued to the black and white tiled world of crossword puzzles....
Natural enough to hiccup my way into the grave...

why do i care?
why do you care?- you ask, bewilderment and mild (uncontrollable) sarcasm bubbling out of the corners of your mouth.
things should be allowed to pass...you wave at them; holding up the towering middle finger is permissible perhaps...but no more than that....
you should let it pass by...comb down the feathers, come on girl! comb them down! (you command.)

the world would let loose the final wisp of patience....
the catalog of my 'hurts & worries' would tickle bellies, elicit smirks and uninhibited laughs.
look what the list says!
1)lost a one-month old friend to other souls. (boo-hoo-hoo! you need sugar-coated tissue papers for that?)
2)got thrown out of a music band. (*rolling of eyelids* grow up girl!)
3)feels threatened and uncomfortable around a certain curly-haired soul.(lap it up! lap it up! some things, people, paper mats, just cannot be discarded!)
4)detests a someone and dedicates an entire blog post in her honour.(it happens...and er, some of those things that she said about you are, er, kind of true...isn't it?)

and the catalog continues...egged on by the catcalls and whistles.

i know the verdict alright...

and so be it.
some day, one day, i would polish and shine....all ready for your world.
i promise.